I’m Fern Weis, and I have a story, just like you.
Becoming a coach for parents of teens didn’t happen by accident. Our family went through some incredibly difficult times during our kids’ teen years. With our family in chaos, revolving around a child who was out of control, we had no choice but to take a serious intervention for him and a good hard look at ourselves. After a month at a wilderness program, we sent him to Hyde School, a boarding school of family-based character education. Hyde isn’t just for the student, it’s for the parents as well. And it was the parent program that sealed the deal for me and my husband. We knew that our son couldn’t come back to the same home, same parents. Those two years at Hyde changed us, and both of our kids forever.
I came to understand that my child’s behavior was just as much about me as it was about him. The big ‘aha’ was that not only were love and good intentions not enough, they were actually part of the problem! After sitting with that for a while, I got down to work. Nothing was going to change until I did.
When I stepped back and let my kids take more responsibility for their actions, they began to care more, and ultimately became more responsible. Taking the consequences made them think twice. They made better decisions because they knew mom wasn’t going to jump in and fix it for them. I learned to be less emotional when talking to them (or to just take a break). They learned that I was going to stay on topic and they couldn’t distract me from the issue at hand. When I learned to really listen to them, they began to trust me with their feelings. Our relationship improved dramatically.
I was also a middle school teacher for 13 years. Because what goes on the classroom is affected by what goes on at home, I know that parents’ need for education and support is critical. I felt I could make a real difference in the lives of kids by working with their parents, and completed my Life Coach certification.
My business, Your Family Matters, was founded in 2008. Since then I have been coaching and educating parents on the parent-teen relationship, letting go of the need to control, how to help kids become super problem-solvers, infusing values into parenting… in other words, how to raise teens to confident, self-sufficient adulthood and maintain your sanity along the way.
When I coach parents, privately and in groups, we go back to basics. They learn how to align words, decisions and actions to stop the madness and have a more sane, calm family life; to feel more in control; to become confident parents who give their kids the social and emotional skills they need to successfully get through high school, college and beyond. We work on issues such as the parent-teen relationship, building respect and cooperation, the family meeting, problem-solving skills and more.
Whether things are going reasonably well, or you feel your family is headed toward a crisis, your kids are too important for you to just ‘wing it’. Take the “Ten Mistakes Quiz” to identify your biggest concerns. When you sign up in the box at the top of the page, you’ll get the quiz, weekly tips and articles and a complimentary Parent-Teen Relationship Breakthrough Session with me to start changing what’s not working. Remember, it’s never too late (or too early) to do this work, and you don’t have to do it alone.